Avenging Mr Jeep
by miserabel
Summary: Emmet get's revenge on Alice for destroying his most prized posessio. Themed around The Italian Job. One shot.


"Remind me why we are doing this" Bella asked me looking over at Jake and Nessie who were sitting in a neighbouring tree.

"Not having second thoughts are we Bells" I smirked hoping to get a rise from her.

"No," she snapped "it's just you know how attached she is to it"

"So" I whispered "this isn't about right and wrong it's all about revenge"

"If this is just your revenge then why are we here?" She asked gesturing at herself Nessie and Jake

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Ummm, no"

"Well who can't she see?"

"Nessie and Jake?"

"Yup, soo if we are with them she can't see us, and so won't be able to stop us!"

"God Bells I thought you were supposed to be smart" the dog called from the other tree,

"Yeah but what about me?" she asked

"Ummm well, I needed you to help me distract Alice and help me make the plan 'cause if you're in on it so is Edward and we need him to distract Alice!"

"So, what about Rose?"

"She won't help us because she said the plan is pure evil and if we ever try to do this to her she will rip me limb from limb then take the pieces and bury them in different places all around the world," I admitted

"Okay" Jake said "I'm goanna pull this prank on Blondie!"

I smiled as I heard my wife hiss at the dog from our room on the third floor. "Will you really?" Nessie chuckled when the dog flinched away from the house.

"Uncle Em have you sent the signal to Daddy?"

"Gosh Nessie I'm disappointed you even thought I would forget about one of the most vital parts of the plan!" I said feigning disappointment.

"Shhhhhhh" Bella scolded

"What?" Nessie and I asked in unison

"She's coming"

We all stared at Alice's most prized possession standing solitary in the centre of the driveway, as Alice came into view with Eddy and Jazz I pulled the detonator pad closer and looked down as Alice realized that her baby was full of explosives, as my finger came closer to the button I thought back at all of the things Ali had done to push me to this extreme,

'_The Pixie is pure evil I thought as I saw my baby, my only love, other than Rose, being torn into pieces in front of my eyes, and why couldn't the strongest, not newborn, vampire ever do nothing to save Mr Jeep? Because the evil pixie had tricked me into getting buried up to my neck facing the direction of the slaughter! What had I done to deserve this? Nothing! Nothing but accidentally rip her favourite dress playing dress up with Nessie so now it was my turn for revenge and it seems logical to me, her most prized possession in exchange poor Mr Jeep!'_

The Pixie just stood there staring unable to do anything but watch just like me with the Jeep, making me think back to all of the time and planning that when into my amazing revenge,

'"_Bella, Bella, BELLA!" I yelled from the top of the stairs,_

"_WHAT?" she roared back_

"_COME HERE I NEED HELP BRING NESSIE AND SOME PAPER"_

"_Be quiet both of you there is no need to shout unless you want your PS3 taking away agin" Esme scolded from Bella's Cottage,_

"'_Kay Esme" we bellowed back in unison,_

"_Soo Emmmy Em Em what d'ya want?" Bella asked appearing next to me holding Nessie_

"_Well firstly for you not to call me Emmmy Em Em, aand I've got a revenge plan for Alice, I need Nessie's help and I need you to help too"_

"_Okay" she grinned letting herself into my room _

"_Well I want to steal something Alice loves and then destroy it in front of her whilst she is helpless and unable to save the object or thingy we will steal" I babbled _

"_That seems cruel,"_

"_It's not, honest, it's only revenge 'cause she did it to me and all we need to do is acquire 3 mini coopers in red blue and white and a bus thingy with no seats!"_

"_Wow Emmet the plan is soo original so how will it end? Will we end up in the bus hanging off a cliff?"_

"_Don't be ridiculous Bells I'm a better driver so after the car chase we will end up back at the house ready to blow up Alice's thing, but before we do that we will need to decide what it is we will steal!"_

_At that point Nessie reached up and touched both me and Bella on the cheek at the same time and as I looked at Bella the evil glint in her eye mirrored mine exactly!_

"_Great plan Em but I think we can pull it off without the Italian Job shit"_

"_But that was the best bit!" I moaned knowing by the way she was glaring that the planning of the revenge would be down to her._

As my finger hit the button a bark of laughter escaped my lips as I saw the Pixies face fill with anger and hatred as Alice'santique wardrobe filled with all of her most expensive clothes exploded, like a thing that explodes, showering us all in tattered bits of clothing and scraps of wood

A very large piece of wood from the wardrobe hit me squarely between the eyes throwing me backwards out of the tree onto my back near the wreckage of the wardrobe. Seconds later Bella landed next to me laughing as she choked out "You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off Em!"


End file.
